No Contradictions

by Abigail Stauffer

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    Our first CD run of "No Contradictions" package printed on recycled chipboard, designed by Brian Son and printed by Stumptown in Portland.

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1.
I hate the way I feel right now I've worked so long to be less frail To be more strong And now the lightest tap Has sent me stumbling back Now I'm trying to understand How this got so out of hand It really shouldn't hurt this bad It was just a disappointment Let go, Let go, Let go it was just a disappointment Why are all of my walls breakin'? Why is my foundation shaken? This is not the worst I've taken And I don't want to be mistaken For a girl who falls apart When the world is not her pop tart It really shouldn't be this hard
2.
Wounded 04:05
You're wounded and broken That's just the way it goes And the burden that you carry now It is not one you chose The lies that you've been told And the secrets that you hid Are burdens that you carry now Because of what another did [Chorus] But you are worthy of a better love than this You are worthy of a better love than this You are worthy of a better love than this The boundaries that were broken And the pressure that you faced You cannot blame these on yourself But they cannot be erased [Chorus] Don't cover up your wounds These hands that reach for you Can be trusted Your innocence removed Can be restored to you undefiled [Chorus]
3.
I smell like fire Eating comfort food and Playing comfort chords I must admire The girls who kick off their shoes And dance to the music And the noise I smell like fire I must admire you All my emotions are welling up Inside Pretty soon I'm gonna throw up Or cry Feels the same, the need to Purge the things that stuck inside you And the longing for someone To comfort close beside you Yet this tendency to run and hide Where no one can find you Smell like fire Smell like fire and comfort Everyone says I would like you And it's not wonder he does too But there's some feelings to get through Before I can dance 'Cause everything good there is about you Is mirrored in me and we can dance together Once I get through this In the fire and comfort In the fire I must admire that you are Not so different from me You were so sincere and sweet I was trying to make a retreat Please don't take it personally It's not you But it's not me Not so different from me I smell like fire and comfort You smell like fire I must admire that you are Not so different from me
4.
Suddenly 03:19
Everything you've been through I've been too I've been there. I've been scared I've been unprepared for what's next And my expectations left me out in the rain See we hold on so tight To this life we think is rightfully ours We think we earned it, deserve it We think it comes free of charge But when we lose our expectation Our whole world is shaken It's takin' me awhile to Realign my inclinations Grant me patience as I wait this out I don't know how it will resolve I want the earth to still revolve around me But suddenly the world is spinning Without my permission Thought that we could go on living Like we owned the stars But it's not me who chose to enter In this life we're living And it seems what I've been given Isn't mine to keep Livin' in the fast lane Yet we complain We're so stressed by the mess we made Underestimate all the risks we take Don't know you're playin' for the highest stakes And the time we waste on makin' money Could be spent on livin, funny That we get confused What do we use this currency for? Think that you're poor, Well maybe you are If your money buys you happiness That never reaches your heart And I'm not presuming that I know you I'm sure your life's been hard But regardless of your income It's sincerity that sets us apart Chorus
5.
Give Love 03:04
My first reaction is to call you To write, to invite you to spend the night But I temper my passion I'm actin' like "That shit don't faze me" "Not waitin' all day, please" I mean, I guess... maybe See my mind's been occupied With thought of you Behind me There's a line cause I've been Taking my sweet time As I start to realize that This may not be a setback Just tryin to get my breath back If I could give love without hesitation If I could live life without speculation If I could feel without fear what comes Natural when I'm near you Then I would do it You know we've all heard "Don't Stop Believin" Yet I give up my freedom For logic, caution and reason And then I start to stifle my feelings Cause maybe they aren't the real thing And there's a chance I might feel pain? So I run from the memory Of the time that you spent with me And the sweet possibility of Me feelin' you feelin' me The butterflies are no longer breathin' Cause I've been squeezin' My dreams til they're leavin' If I could live life without hesitation If I could give love without speculation If I could speak from my heart Even though it's just the start Baby you already mean the world to me You mean the world to me So forget about the lessons That felt less than necessary And whatever might have scared me 'Cause it's probably what prepared me To be open to the people who will love me But I barely let them in before I end it And I push them out again I bring about my own undoing Ignore the multitudes who are wooing I wanna take you out Treat you right Give you space Hold you tight Dance with you Call you mine Celebrate If I could, If I could, If I If I could, If I could, without If I could, If I could give love
6.
Push 03:59
Push push push She's not going back in She's determined to live All good things begin with pain Push push push She's not gong back in She's determined to live It is from struggle we begin Stripped to the core Nothing's left that was before But don't mourn the loss of who you were This is the start of who you are Stripped to the core Nothing's left that was before Pick up the pieces of your heart It's not the end, it is the start Push push push You're not going back in You're determined to live All good things begin with pain Push push push You're not going back in But as your struggle fades away All your strength will still remain I gave wounds, got wounds Nobody escapes We are all broken, and we break each other But if we're strong we'll make each other Whole again She pushed, I pushed She did what I could not She screamed, I cried We both survived And here's the proof I am alive this is the proof I am alive And we're not going back in We're determined to live All good things begin with pain Push push push We're not going back in We're determined to live It is from struggle we begin All good things begin with pain Now is the time to start again Pick up the pieces of your heart It's not the end, it is the start All good things begin with pain Now is the time to start again It is from struggle we begin Life is determined to be lived
7.
I just want some comfort It doesn't need to make sense Touch can be the sustenance That gets me through this famine I don't need forgiveness You could understand me if you tried It's you who has the tendency to hide Well I won't expose you Come out of your own will Or stay in, it's yours to choose The world or the windowsill I see there's so much I don't know But It's not mine to push you out If you don't leave I'll be the one to go I just need some comfort I need a place to rest But how am I to cross the disconnect spreading out between us? I need you to listen Empty all the noises in your mind I know you're still afraid of what I'd find but I would never shame you [Chorus]
8.
Ride Away 04:09
From the beautiful From the painful I am so full of hope tonight There is nothing so fulfilling as The feeling of the wind at my back As I ride Ride away, I ride away, I ride away... Will you follow? I am powerful, you are gentle If your heart is full Take a pen and write Of miracles, so here it goes The story's told of when the bold Rode forth on bicycles, I ride Ride away, I ride away, I ride away... Will you follow? Look inside, I'm not there Search the skies I'm flying through the air On tires like wings I soar as they spin And there's not a thing That feels freer than When I ride Although you think I'm lost I know that I am found When feet meet pedals And tires meet ground Won't take the shortcut This time around My lungs are filling My heart it pounds The earth resounds With joyful sounds I am surrounded by Dreams so boundless I ride away, I ride away, I ride away Will you follow?
9.
Gardening 03:29
Write every day, well I've got nothing to say now I'm trying not to waste my words on you Took all the pain out But the story's the same somehow I'm trying not to waste my worth on you [Chorus] I used to be a burden Got so used to being hurt and I'm trying not to waste my worth on you I've taken all the dirt and Made a garden from the worst I'm trying not to waste what we've been through Goodbye, walk away Hard to make clean cuts these days Only pieces of your heart remain You're acting like you can't be fazed But inside you're afraid of feelings you don't wanna face You're like traveler, I wanna be your resting place But I'm trying not to waste my worth on you [Chorus] Everything there was to offer was not for the taking We were making assumptions And predictable mistakes But even things gone bad have worth Take the earth for example Compost is ample, but looks like waste I used to be be a burden Got so used to being hurt and I'm trying not to waste my worth on you I've taken all the dirt and Made a garden from the worst I'm trying not to waste my words on you I'm trying not to waste my worth on you I'm trying not to waste what we've been through
10.
Anchor 03:15
Baby let's fly a kite, but we need a line I'm held at bay, like a vine with no walls to climb There's a feeling that I can't escape Wandering without a way Somebody give me boundaries My freedom's feeling like a cage I'm adrift, I'm adrift I need an anchor 2x Out in the vastness of the open skies and oceans wide Is there a reference among the stars unquantified? I've been searching for a constellation Something I could recognize This endlessness while glorious Has left me less than satisfied I'm adrift, I'm adrift I need an anchor 2x Where am I? I'm like a traveler with no destination Searching for fences and hours of operation Show me a rope, give me some expectation I'm adrift, I'm adrift I need an anchor
11.
I like talking to you But I don't know how I feel And I don't know If I can deal With feeling anything right now I like being with you But I don't know what's up your sleeve And I'd rather be the first to leave If someone's gonna do it Maybe you'll treat me like gold But I don't know if I feel Like I'm worth it I'm used to being treated like dirt And this is unfamiliar territory It's hard to let go of the old ways But if you're gonna treat me this way Maybe it's finally time for me to stay It's hard to believe That you really mean what you say Cause everyone seems to act this way Before they disappear And my trust's getting weak I'm growing tired of seeing the best In someone who left without The courtesy to say goodbye So maybe you'd treat me like gold But I don't think you know gold when you see it You had your chance and then I watched you leave it And I'm tired of being disappointed It's hard to let go of the old ways But if you're gonna treat me this way Baby it's time for me To walk away So when you see me Please don't be surprised If I don't meet your eyes Cause It's been a long year And I don't have the time to spend On prolonged endings
12.
Took A Shine 03:21
I can't get you off my mind and Why would I try to deny it's you I'd like to be beside soon? You make it easy to see You can't take your eyes off me And I just want to be close to you I think I took a shine to you And I'm scared 'Cause I don't know what I might do When you're there But I like it that way I like it that way 2x I read into your looks and separate myself From all attachment I'll be fine- I just need time I'm thinking much to hard about The fear of failure But you're still here I'll be fine- I just need time Sweet Tea, oh you're sweet to me If it's A or E, I just want to BE Oh let go of insecurity Hold on to a sense of safety All my fears are turning out to be So unnecessary

credits

released May 30, 2013

All songs by Abigail Stauffer
Produced by Abigail Stauffer, Christopher Norman & Jim Roll
Mixed by Christopher Norman & Jim Roll
Mastered by Christopher Norman

Artwork & Design by Brian Son (www.brianson.com)
Photography by Tabbatha Renea (www.tabbathareneaphotos.com)

Abigail Stauffer: Vocals, Guitar, Banjo
Jim Roll: Recording (tracks 8, 5, 6), Vocal Recording (tracks 1, 2, 4, 5, 8-10), Production & Mixing (All tracks)
Christopher Norman: Production & Mixing (All tracks), Electric Piano (tracks 2, 12), Synth (tracks 1, 5, 7, 10, 12)
Mike Shea: Drums, Percussion (tracks 1, 2, 4, 8-10)
Joe Dart: Electric Bass (tracks 1, 2, 4, 8-10)
Kirk Scarbrough & Brett Hill: Recording (tracks 1-3, 6, 8-11)
Chris DuPont: Vocals, Songwriting (track 7), Vocal recording (tracks 7 & 10), Electric guitar (track 1)
Abby Alwin: Cello (tracks 2, 5, 6, 8, 9)
Rebecca Kurian: Background vocals (4, 9), Harmony consultant (4, 8, 9)
Justin Dykhouse: Additional synth production (track 12)

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Abigail Stauffer Ann Arbor, Michigan

bicycle wielding wanderer

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